We were all children before we grow up and become adults. The family environment in which we were upbrought and the childhood we had inevitably condition our adult lives.
The problems encountered during this period of our existence have a major influence on the way we face the vicissitudes of life. They predict somehow the quality of our adult lives.
Adulthood determinants :
The personality of an adult is often determined by emotional wounds 5 or painful experiences in childhood:
1. The fear of abandonment
A child who was abandoned as a child will develop a great fear of loneliness in adulthood. For fear of being abandoned, he will leave or drop a partner or project on the way. This is his defense mecanism; he left before being left.
Fear of rejection for such people is permanent and defines their behavior towards people and the vagaries of life. These people will have to work on this fear of loneliness and rejection. As long as the idea of being alone cause a panic, they will not be healed of their injuries.
2. Fear of rejection
Rejection is a deep wound when it is lived in early childhood. This injury affects the behavior of the person who has suffered so much that he considers himself someone unworthy of affection. Believing this and fearing to be rejected, the person ends up isolating in his inner emptiness.
Adults who have suffered rejection as children are elusive and must absolutely take risks and decisions by themselves.
These people have managed to face this fear, the day they will not be bothered by the remoteness of some people in their lives.
3. Humiliation
When parents treat their child stupid or silly, they do not realize that at this time they are destroying his self-esteem. When a child is treated this way, he is persuaded to be disapproved and criticized. In adulthood, he will end up with a dependent personality. It is even possible that he develops a defense mechanism in turn by humiliating others and becoming tyrannical and selfish.
To get rid of the fear of humiliation, it is recommended to work on understanding the needs and fears and to work for independence and freedom.
4. Treason or fear to trust
Parents often tend to promise certain things to their children. When these promises are not met, the child feels betrayed and unworthy of what was promised. These negative feelings develop a manipulative personality, with a strong character, who wants to have and control everything.
People who have experienced such problems during childhood lack of tolerance, patience and good manners. They have to work on these three axes and also learn to delegate responsibilities.
5. Injustice
A child who has grown up with cold, authoritarian parents who require a lot from him crossing often the limits, finds himself overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness and worthlessness. This feeling that arises in childhood persists into adulthood.
People who have suffered this type of behavior are easily detectable by their mental rigidity and their thirst for power. They are unable to make decisions with confidence and are obsessed with order and perfectionism.
It is necessary for these adults to work on their rigidity and mistrust to be able to trust others and gain flexibility.
Knowing these five wounds of the soul capable of affecting our personality, our health and our lives can help correct a character trait, or better, push parents to correct their way of doing with their children.